Chase & Shelby

“It must be like ‘mixed feelings’.”

The sentiment was right, but the words got stuck on the way out.

The emotions aren’t mixed.  They are whole.  Complete in their experience and expression.

Extreme.  Not mixed.  Not tempered.  Not diluted.

Anything less than a no-holds-barred, fully-formed emotional response would be a dis-service to these two precious people.

Somehow, a new vocabulary is required.

Not ‘bitter-sweet’. 

To marry the grief and celebration together seems like an injustice to them both.

Yet, they are corresponding in time.  And so they remain entwined.

3rd of December 2021 — I become a Great-Uncle, and a Grandfather on the same day.

Grateful and overjoyed at the prospect of a growing relationship with my grand-daughter.

Devastated at the loss of my great-nephew.  Aching for his parents.  For his grand-parents.

Questioning how we all navigate the extremes.

Embracing the gifts of Chase and Shelby.

Grieving the loss of Chase.

Celebrating the arrival of Shelby.

Distinctly and uniquely — yet at the same time.

Wondering how we best care for each other when the emotions intersect.


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