not quite a pastor
Over the last 16 years Ive been ‘not quite a pastor’.AccessTheStory brings me close enough to the church to practice the people-care skills of a pastor, but has also provided the luxury of being one step removed from the inner workings of church life.
Today’s meeting with a local church elder changes that.
One of their five staff members is on extended leave, and the leadership team is seeking some assistance.
‘Would you be open to stepping into a part-time interim role to help us through this season?’
A deep well of reluctance swirls under the surface, but in light of yesterday's choice (step of faith?) to forego being a bus driver, I reluctantly say 'maybe'. And I remember saying to God something like:
"I'm not sure that I'm cut-out for a longer term role in the established church, but I'm willing for you to prove me wrong!"
The leadership team discusses. They interview me (informally, but it's an interview!). A proposal is drawn up, affirmed by the church council, then ratified by the members meeting (not without some bumpiness, but that's another story), and seven weeks later I say 'yes' to being a one-day-a-week Interim Pastor on a 3 month arrangement.
I've negotiated some clear boundaries on what my duties are, and I'm glad for it as I navigate 3 months, then a 6 week extension in the role.
I enjoy the preaching aspect. I also find the care of leaders to be fulfilling, but it gets tricky pretty quickly.
- A few weeks in, the elders recommend another pastor to go on leave while the rest of the pastoral staff (apart from me) are away.
- The staff member who was originally on extended leave later concludes their role.
- A few weeks on, two other staff members and their partners conclude their roles and membership at the church.
- Then, the week prior to my last week there, the pastor who had been asked to take leave announces their resignation.
It is a confusing litany of mis-timed miscommunications and misreadings, and all while I'm looking to care for the team.
In late September - as I try to encourage the last remaining staff member in their role - I reflect back to my question as to whether I make myself more available for an established church situation.
Unless there's something I'm not seeing, I'm taking it as a 'no'!
So, I'm not a bus driver. And I'm not quite a pastor. Either of these things might reduce the possible pressure I'm foreseeing financially, but neither of them remain on the table.
My inclination is to turn my full attention to my work with AccessTheStory - for a number of reasons - not least in that it gives me an opportunity to continue to walk alongside the church. This recent experience as an interim pastor isn’t exactly compelling inspiration to take this journey, but I’m reminded that God might be speaking through my pesky threshold.
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